Apathy can die, at least for now

Obama and Palin have done the one thing deemed impossible for modern politics; they have dispelled voter apathy. People are actually participating in the democratic process. People are waking up and paying attention for the first time in too long.

Regardless of your politics or affiliations, these candidates have rejuvenated public opinion. Finally a majority of voters actually care about the outcome of an election. It's about time. I don't care who wins, as long as we all vote.

Time out

Out of time, time out, time to go, time to eat, time to sleep, time time time! What a strange little word when you really look at it. It drives so much of what we do, even when we are doing nothing; t. i. m. e. - four little letters that rule the world.

Bones and Thunder

It seems each day is a race, when it should be a sit-down, have coffee read a book kinda day. We spin so fast our souls can't keep up and we feel disconnected, depressed, and alone because part of ourselves is missing. I keep imagining my soul sitting in a huff in the kitchen, arms crossed, saying, "I am not moving another inch until she gets her sh*t together and slows down.".

The Dalai Lama has written a book called, "The Art of Happiness." Hundreds of pages discussing the philosophy of embracing happiness. Never once does he consider how the hell a working mother can sit down long enough to think; let alone think deep thoughts about the nature of the universe. I spend all day at work and all night moving at the speed of light helping others be happy, feel protected, and well rested.

Buddha, the Dalai Lama, Mohammed, Christ, etc... none of them were women. I hope they reincarnate as women and offer up sincere apologies for proposing we take on one more thing that isn't related to school, dinner, sports, sleep, and the flu.

Did any of them ever have to clean up vomit at 3:00am or rush to the hospital holding a screaming eight-year-old with a broken arm and still make it to work in the morning?

I didn't think so.

220 girl in a 110 world

Scatter, skitter
Flutter, flitter
Ramble, jumble
Fall and tumble

Pouncing, bouncing
Thoughts exploding
Shocking, burning
through my eyes

Feeling heat come through my skin
People backing off again
Whirlwind just lifts me higher
Watch out for the girl on fire

Confidence....

Confidence means never being afraid to look like a fool.

A night that changed history and the future

Last night I watched the 2008 Republican National Convention. It was a historic night and I will never forget it. Sarah Palin was nominated for vice-president of the United States on the Republican ticket and she stunned the convention crowd and the nation by demonstrating strength, intelligence, and a national level of comfort in a position of great pressure and expectation. She showed that having passion and ambition doesn’t mean you lose yourself or your values or your belief in yourself.

My husband reminded me that even the most influential and successful presidents America has ever had have been unknowns before they took office. Abraham Lincoln, Harry Truman and others did not fit the model or appearance of a seasoned world leader. They were dark horse candidates and widely unknown.

They were positioned by fate to lead the country. There were the leaders who made some of the most difficult and world-altering decisions a human being has ever had to make.

Last night was profound not because of party platforms or issues. Not because of the conservative voice or convictions of morality. It was a stunning and breathtaking achievement because she came, she saw, and she kicked ass.

Never again will a female candidate be underestimated or written off before she even starts her campaign. Women have achieved great things in the US Congress and are world shapers around the globe. But Sarah Palin leveled the playing field for Americans, as a politician and, for me, even more importantly, she showed the daughters of the newest generation that a woman of strength is a reality, a hero, a history maker and that the glass ceiling Geraldine Ferraro and Hillary Clinton beat so hard upon and almost took apart received the final blow needed to shatter it and watch it fall away.

Now, some of the shards are going to cut deep. The unbalanced mania and viciousness of the attacks on her, largely because of gender, may end up hurting her beyond hope and kill her pursuit of history. It is pure speculation to predict what the future holds for Sarah. She may be too new to the world stage to maintain her popularity in the face of a vicious, sexist media and the Washington political machine that says a young, pretty woman can’t be smart, she can’t be a military leader, she can’t understand or become educated about foreign policy and steer the course, she can’t make the tough decisions that men think have been their privilege throughout our history.

And there is the issue of her politics. Many voters are twitchy about her stance on sex education, abortion, and values regarding education. Her comfort in professing her faith could backfire in a country that doesn’t like to see people invoke the name of God and seek divine guidance in positions of power. We worry that we will wake up under the thumb of religious fascism and our social policies and the rights of women will return to the dark ages.

But there are certain truths that have made my heart sing. She has shown us all a woman can galvanize the attention of the nation and the world in a single speech. More citizens watched the convention last night than at any other time in the last fifty years, I’ll wager.

And, finally, my eight-year old daughter was riveted by the entire event. She watched from beginning to end and I wept with joy. She does not know or understand conservative vs. liberal. She doesn’t know what a Republican or a Democrat is and she doesn’t care. Neither do I. But I care that she will grow up knowing what strength, passion, commitment, and ability look like. She will never have to doubt that women are leaders and world-shakers. She will never realize until much later how hard we fought in my lifetime and my mother’s and her mother’s for this very moment.

This is not about politics anymore; that is secondary. This is about showing my daughter the future; a future where the glass ceiling is now a part of history.

Journalism is dead

It was announced today that long-respected and sincere Journalism died today after a lengthy and devastating illness. Journalism was revered internationally for its unbiased view of the world and its ability to communicate and share current events without prurient interest.

Sadly, in the final stages of moral dementia, Journalism began a long decline into sensationalism that turned a once proud, intelligent institution into nothing more than a rabid and salacious shadow of its former self.

Journalism leaves behind several well-respected family members including Walter Cronkite, Diane Sawyer, Bernard Shaw, Helen Thomas, Mike Wallace and many more.

It was preceded in death by Tim Russert, David Brinkley, Edward R. Murrow and other members of its dying race.

Due to the controversy surrounding Journalism's death, no service is planned. Memorial donations may be made to the Walter Cronkite School of Journalism at Arizona State University, or any other old-school journalism charity of choice, if you can find one.

Journalism was cremated and its ashes scattered over the Potomac River.

One more day....

Today is one more day. One more to be a better parent. One more day to be a loving wife. One more day to let go of anger. One more day to truly understand what it means to be in a relationship with love.

I read, "The Shack" recently, and while not the most intelligently or elegantly written novel ever produced,it is a moving and mind-altering parable about Christian beliefs; a beautiful realization of the holy Trinity, and our relationship with ourselves and therefore with God.

My relationship with a God of love is based in the Catholic faith. A faith I grew up in, came to abhore, and, ultimately and surprisingly, returned to as a source of great comfort in my maturity. Being Catholic is not easy. For so many reasons. From the personal challenge of living a just and selfless life, and then the politics of pain that we are all enduring and healing from because of the actions of a small sick celibacy that recruited damaged men.

Catholics are so overwhelmed with the public idea of who we are, that we have gone underground in our belief system rather than be hung, tarred, and feathered like witches and baby-eaters. No one talks of their beliefs anymore. We fear ridicule and the instant assumption that we must be fanatics without intelligence, independence, or mental stability. People think that if we bring up our faith we will attack them like the Amway lady, and insist on converting them to our cult on the spot. They assume faith equals denial of rational thought.

But our faith is the lens through which we focus on the love around us. It is not a priest, or even a doctrine that tells us who we are. It is a community coming together to learn about the greater mysteries of the universe. To touch for just a moment an intangible thought and idea. It is a chance to glimpse the outstretched hand of light and love that permeates every atom of space and the mysteries beyond.

To have good people in the Church is to seek a peaceful revolution from inside a system that needs change. I am proud to serve the love and light of the world, and to be a representative of safety and protection for the children in my life.

I thank God that I have one more day to breath. One more day to make a difference. One more day to make up for the hurt and the pain in my heart and the hearts of others. One more day to share the love and yearning for a happier life that we all seek.

The mysteries of the Universe are found in the eyes of our children. They are that love incarnate. I have one more day to be worthy, to guide, to share, to believe that I can bring love from my heart to theirs. I have one more day to get it right.

Thank God, I have one more day...

How do you know...

How do you tell the difference between a person on a cell phone and a schizophrenic? I mean really? They both hear voices in their heads. They both seem distracted and lose track of their surroundings when walking. Both have erratic driving behaviors and seem to be carrying on conversations no one else can hear. I don't see any difference at all.

Maybe cell phones are a shared delusion and we are all just plain crazy.

Polar Bear Butts and Grizzilies On The Way To School

Polar bears can show you their butts at the local Zoo. It is the bear version of the giving you the finger. They are pissed about global warming, but happy they got put up in luxury digs. They are really sorry about the folks back home, though.

And then there are the Grizzlies.....

The hazards of walking to school have increased. We don't worry as much about the human predators as the Grizzlies. They have started to wander the bike trails and parking lots of luxury hotels.

Hence the saying, "Send more tourists, the last ones were delicious."

Lemurs and France

In my house we have lemurs. They are dug in and show no signs of leaving, at least until they are eighteen. Lemurs are exceptionally curious, full of appetite, and ready to start a stink fight at a moment's notice. They climb on anything, poke their noses into everything, and fidget to death anything remotely interesting.

They are also prone to sudden lapses of absolute torpor and can sleep through a 6.4 earthquake when they set their minds to it.

The lemurs like to send their parents to France. France is where we go when our brains are leaking out our ears from the sonic onslaught of the high-pitched, dog-range-only voices of our children. We travel to France when we are desperately trying to remember The Five Most Important Things We Had To Do Today before our thoughts run screaming from our minds like the nannies in Mary Poppins.

France is triggered by crossing any threshold in the house, but the kitchen threshold is the most powerful. You flee the kitchen to escape the lemur shrieks and quick-make-a-list, but once you cross its border any thoughts you wanted to capture, whether about tomorrow's IRS audit or attending your Aunt's funeral, are lost and will only be recalled when it is definitely, absolutely too late to do anything about it and you hear sirens.

France is a vague and mystical domain. It it filled with minor chores and tasks. You find yourself making a scrapbook, re-potting a plant, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, anything but the LIST. It is a subtle form of brainwashing developed between the children and the house fairies. Don't even get me started on the fairies.

My children have discovered that Mommy's brain is like the movie, "Memento". If you don't like the answer/consequence/clothing choice she has given you, wait ten minutes and ask her again. You will get a completely different answer.

When Mommy goes to France, she takes a vacation from her brain.

Children love vacations.


(photo by EPA)

Slow crazy

There is no time to write the great novel. The characters in my head are just another set of voices added to the constant sonic assault of "Momma, Momma, Momma...", that fills my every waking moment. My greatest creative works are five and eight years old and very chatty.

Somehow they are not the great works of philosophy, spirituality, and selfish achievement I had envisioned when I pondered how my creative energy would manifest in my life. There are still miracles; evidence of a higher power beyond understanding.

But things are getting serious. The voices in my head have hired an attorney. They are demanding equal time.

Now I know the true meaning of "slow crazy".

River beginning

The flow of my life follows the Kenai river. The river is an Alaskan legend, hailed for decades as the home of the giant 80lb king salmon. It is the only place they live. The river became a world famous tourist destination about the same time the Trans-Atlantic Pipeline began construction.

I grew up in the Alaska that existed before that time....

This is my story, and my journal of my life as it is today. The history and the present are from very different eras and I am still trying to adjust.