It was announced today that long-respected and sincere Journalism died today after a lengthy and devastating illness. Journalism was revered internationally for its unbiased view of the world and its ability to communicate and share current events without prurient interest.
Sadly, in the final stages of moral dementia, Journalism began a long decline into sensationalism that turned a once proud, intelligent institution into nothing more than a rabid and salacious shadow of its former self.
Journalism leaves behind several well-respected family members including Walter Cronkite, Diane Sawyer, Bernard Shaw, Helen Thomas, Mike Wallace and many more.
It was preceded in death by Tim Russert, David Brinkley, Edward R. Murrow and other members of its dying race.
Due to the controversy surrounding Journalism's death, no service is planned. Memorial donations may be made to the Walter Cronkite School of Journalism at Arizona State University, or any other old-school journalism charity of choice, if you can find one.
Journalism was cremated and its ashes scattered over the Potomac River.
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